Been talking about music a bit tonight, and it got me a little nostalgic for my days as a roadie building stages and manning soundboards. So there was this one time you see a tragic tale full of comedy, fear, and WARNING: Lots of swearing even some references to poop. Yes that is what I said. It all started...*wavy flashback stuff*

So the productions company I worked for had been hired to stage, light, and do sound for the stylistics at some downtown festival. So it was a few days of running wire and running spotlight for me. We were holed up in some random merriot hotel so it wasn't bad until the last part well I will get to that. Anyway merriot hotel so free food and a nice bed kinda rare sometimes in that business. We setup the stage, and event goes on. The Stylistics play their set, and everything is all smooth..........Later that night.....The show is over and everyone except us has bugged out. Vendors, security...I repeat SECURITY...Now though we were staying at a merriot this was still an umm questionable city. So all to our lonesomes me and the other crew start tearing the sound stuff down and packing it up. Well we finished this, and by this point we have already had several of the local homeless guys and crackheads or both ask us for food money and if we wanted to buy a rock, a gold watch, and a pinto yes like the car. <-----This statement is not meant jokingly. By now the sound stuff is all safe and tucked away, and we begin to start working at the stage. We notice something at this point. A car drives by nearly hits us. What we happened to notice was that the city idiots at the festival when they left took down the road blocks. So car number one passes we are safe and now busting ass to get out of there. A good amount of time passes about 20 minutes we have unlocked a good bit of the stage platforms and I am standing at the back of the stage taking a smoke break. Suddenly I happen to see out of the corner of my eye a car coming straight at the stage well very fast. Now the other dudes are in the front in the path of said vehicular device. So I go GUYS FUCKING MOVE!!! Now let me tell you a bit about my coworkers that evening one of them about my age very overweight, the other a few years older than me and you can tell he used to be buff and do the gym a lot. Now though he has let himself kinda go an and he has what you would call a flabby torso. Both of them as I said this do some sort of Jackie Chan style flip off the stage to where the car was not going to be and they were fine. the car and its driver however plow through the stage like its cotton. He stopped with a broken windshield with a rather perplexed look on his face and he goes. What the fuck is this shit? Gets back in his beaten up car puts on his seat-belt.<------- Think about that for a minute. So luckily about half the stage platforms were still locked together so they didn't produce 120lb raining blocks of doom. By now though our boss had already gone to bed. Long day, hot day. So we go and get like the co owner of the company, and show him this. He comes outside and we are all just standing there you know just getting over our nightly near death freak outs. He looks it all over, scratches his head, and I ask so John what do we do man? He looks at me straight in the eye and he says this phrase. "Man.......I have shit......six times today." Okay we collect ourselves and go yeah gotta show big boss. Walk up to his room, wake him up *coughs* He isn't happy. We say James we really need to show you this. (Gonna take a moment here to explain about this guy. Kinda eccentric not exactly an orthodox job if you will. He was very open about 2 things. Women's feet and the size and shape of his shit.) So the next thing he says is man fuck you guys this better be important. I might have to kill you if this is just to show me a shit!! So John the other boss dude says oh you might see some shit......We show the boss he loses it, someone else drives up and stops. He grabs one of the steel rods use to hold the stage up of the ground and says leave or I am breaking your god damned window. Well off they went. He called the local paper....Who mind you were jackasses and didn't print the story. He called the cops who basically told him he might as well sniff his own ass. We all had been scared into a heart attack and my bosses were out oh about $85,000.

I thought you might get a good laugh out of this, and yes it is all true. Not even I could make this up......

lol thats a long flash back o.O